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Windows Live Messenger/MSN Messenger Nicknames
Welcome to the new, updated Windows Live Messenger/MSN Messenger Nicknames section. I have gathered the largest (not a guarantee) collection of Messenger nicknames and screennames for you to use! Just add your own emoticons, and you'll be the coolest horse around!
 Silly Quotes
Pickup Lines
Proverbs
Funny Thoughts
Stupid Quotes (New!)
Tips 'n' Tricks
FREE emoticons
Silly Quotes
"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."
"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome
The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them
"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"
I love him, O yes I do, He's for me, not for you, And if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!
"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!
For you are crunchy And taste good with ketchup
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"
Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!
Every morning is the dawn of a new error
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved
Dain bramaged
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Pickup Lines
"Did you just fart? (No, why?) Cause you just blew me away"
If I follow you home will you keep me?
"Here's a quarter call your mom and tell her your not coming home tonight!"
"Fancy a raisin...No. How about a date?"
(Go up to the person you think is attractive) "Your eyes are the same color as my corvette."
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
You look like a big glass of water and I sure am thirsty!
They say life is like a box of chocolates--oh yes-- I think I just found the juiciest and best tasting one yet!
(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Wow! Are those real?
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
You are the reason men fall in love.
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
Proverbs
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door..
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who eat prunes get good run for money.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think.
"A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain." .
"You never test the depth of a river with both feet."
"Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand."
"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."
It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato-the best part of him is underground.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Your heart understands what your head cannot yet conceive; trust your heart.
A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey.
He who never made a mistake never made a discovery.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
Funny Thoughts
Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?
Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner?
Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?
Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?
If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering?
Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?
If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?
If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?
Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?
If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance?
Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?
Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?
Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down?
Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?
How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?
Do cows drink milk?
Stupid Quotes
"I believe that everyone else my age is an adult whereas I am merely in disguise"
- Margaret Atwood
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on..."
- Dean Martin
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
MSN Nickname Tips 'n' Tricks! Mess.be
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